Wild Boy

I think I have been off the deep end too many times. Its weird though because for the first time I feel like I actually am not that crazy wild boy who would do anything anymore. I like to stay home and relax, I think I am just disillusioned with the whole Hollywood party scene. I know that I have met alot of people but I don't really want that type of life anymore. 

Last night, I talked to him on the phone for a few hours, and I felt like I was flying. Every time I talk to him, my walls come crashing down and honesty is the most important thing to me. I can't believe that there is some sort of mutual attraction between us... I dont want to jinx it so I wont say anything else... for now...

The Feeling

Do you ever get that feeling that things are finally going to be ok? Do you ever get that feeling that this relationship may be the one to last? I have this feeling permeating within me and I think that with the new year, there is a new sense of hope and a comfort in knowing things are changing. I suppose right now I am not in the most sound of mind... but i am never truly sound of mind. I really hope things between me and this person work out.

now about my love life. I know things sometimes don't work out, because I have experienced that too many times. I know I want things to work but you can't force it. At the rate it's going I can only hope for the best. Its also dangerous to cherish something doesn't yet exist and to hope it will make all your problems go away. Thats not realistic and it wont happen because love just donesnt work that way. I am so tired though- I am tired of the ones who never call you back, I am tired of the ones who are only there for a hot minute, I'm tired of dating to be absolutely honest. Yet for some reason I keep dating because I still have some vestige of hope that I'll meet someone eventually. I think that love is something really special, and I want to find it but right now it's so hard. The reason I suppose is because as it seems love always comes to you when you're not looking for it and thats why I think right now I am so enamored with the thought of a future relationship with this special person.

Now thats off my chest! 

First thoughts on 2008

so far it has been the most chill and relaxed year I have had. Last night with my friends was a night I never want to forget. We spent our mid-night in the Cube. The Cube is a 3 story building without windows and doors and the only entrance in is through a latter at the top. We had a few minutes there and so we lit a fire and had a beer. I can't say this is what I wanted to do, because it wasn't... but it became one of those moments I just don't want to forget. We had eachother and that was all. Afterwards we went to a party at a mutual friend's house. All the people there were awesome! Seriously there were so open minded and cool. After a few hours of rockband we left and so that was the start of the new year. And if the first day of the New Year is any indication of how things will go, then things will be wonderful! I am excited about everything!

Last Thoughts of 2007

I'm happy that this year is finally over. Though there has been alot that has gone on, I am able to see how much I've grown. There is a wonderful feeling I have. It permeates in me and it becomes me. I think I am the most happy I've been. I think its because I have a clearer and wider perspective. Now is the time for me to go at life with all that I've got... Come on 2008, I'm ready!

A New Year, A New Blog

So I thought I would pick up blogging again after many failed attempts at trying to sustain a blog. Now though I think it is good time for me to start up again and try to blog everyday of this coming year. I suppose this project seems to be a huge undertaking but I am curious to look back and reflect on this coming year. 

Right now I have two New Years resolutions... One is to stop the bullshit and the other is to cut down on my vices. My vices aren't horrible or destructive like drugs. but vices are more like procrastinating because my heads in the stars... so now I need to come back down to earth and prepare to move on gracefully into my adult life. I don't know how I feel about that. I kind of just have to accept it don't I? I guess now is where my life really begins.

On a different note... I just got done watching a movie that made me really angry. It was called Jesus Camp. I was in shock and awe watching the indoctrination of these young children. If you're not familiar with this film, it is about a camp where it follows a youth pastor and the camp she runs in North Dakota. This woman, Becky, is just one evangelical christian who is trying to help build an army for God. Fundamentalist christians are breeding there children to take over the polls. Its more frightening that there are about 80 million evangelicals in the US and they make up a good chunk. Anyways the reason why this movie made me so mad was that these children are 10, 11, 12 and are being "born-again" without any freedom of choice they are told what to believe and those who don't believe face being outcasted by their family! Its the most bullshit thing ever! I swear it was like watching old propaganda videos featuring Hitler's Youths. I just want to shake some of these parents and ask them how in the hell do you get along in the world? Seriously. I don't get it. I have not one problem with christians in a general sense, but when it comes to this radical fundamentalism where God's will is law... thats bullshit!

I'm done ranting... 

SO I must now prepare... this year should be interesting...